Now after giving birth it is ok for me showing pictures of me being pregnant… but during my pregnancy I couldn’t make myself tell it to everybody ….

Me, one month before giving birth to Silas

Well… a lot of people have asked me why I didn’t tell about my pregnancy. Literally I met people on the street randomly and I did not tell.

They couldn’t see it, I didn’t tell…

Or maybe they could see it but didn’t want to say anything…

You know that you never ask a girl if she’s pregnant because maybe she isn’t and then you would actually offend her 🙄

Well I think I didn’t tell because I was afraid that something went wrong and I had to tell that afterwords.

So I only let people know who was really near to me, because if something bad happened I was not supposed to tell that to everyone.

August 2017, 5 month pregnant

And why this fear of telling people something good?

I think it’s because I many times have tried to be wounded and lost the things that I’ve spend years on building.

Relationships, work, ideas … and then see it all fall apart.

So for some years I actually felt that I didn’t matter – that my energy didn’t matter – that life didn’t matter.

And actually I have had difficulties in recognizing myself – which made me hide even more.

I didn’t want people to know how I felt and I didn’t want to listen to their good advices or critiques about how I felt.

Not telling about my pregnancy also meant :

Not showing pictures on the social media, which actually was quite difficult because normally on the socials we share our daily lives so I could only show half of my life…

…conclusion I posted less than half of what I used to do.

I was so tired

Which meant that I spend less time looking at other people lives that I lost followers….

But being tired is part of being pregnant, and I promise you I was 😂

And that is why I didn’t tell about my situation –

I was scared of the reaction of other people if something went wrong.

Fortunately nothing went wrong and I now have a healthy little baby.

September 2017, 3 month before birth

Next post will be about why I didn’t put up any pictures of little Silas on the social.

Until then…

Find me on Instagram @anna_ulrike_