For the last five years I did not do anything particular on new years eve. There’s a reason why, but I tell you that another day.
This new years eve was something totally different. First of all because I am using crutches for the moment.
And secondly I eat new years dinner at a restaurant. (first time doing that new years eve) I was with my friends Carmen & Giacomo. Giacomo is also known as DJ Busonera, and the dinner was with his DJ friends C-sky & Siko and a really special guest Ellen Allien, DJ from Germany who was to play at the new year party ATLANTIDE later.
At the restaurant we had a blast. One thing was that we were missing one person, the one hosting the dinner, and while waiting – we ate a lot of bread. So much, that we started joking about wanting more bread. You know… when you get fixed on something that is funny for the moment, you keep it for the night.
Today I passed by a girl called Doriana on Istagram. And I totally liked her profile text.
“Choose to live – not to survive”
And funny enough she comes from Italy (if you didn’t know I am half Italian)
I asked Doriana if I could feature her profile text here, so voila, Doriana’s awesome message is now even more available.
And this make Doriana a Piece 4 Love of the day. One of these pieces that just make life more beautiful and easier to live, because she’s right in telling me the fact, that if I choose to live I live. If I choose to survive I survive, and that is different from living. Well of course I do live if you survive, though, the fact is
To survive makes me think of troubles and difficulties whereas on the other hand to live makes me think of breathing and being happy.
And oh no I am not happy all the time, almost. But I do breath…
I relate my being happy almost all the time with the two choices in life I wrote about some posts ago.
It is easier for me to choose to be happy, because then I act from a higher vibration and I do my work better.
So how do I choose it.
I plan things I like to do and that makes me smile. That makes it easier for me to do things I do not like.
Tomorrow I have to do some administrative stuff that I have to do myself and that I really do not enjoy that much. In order to fell better about it, I go to an open place where I feel good.
So I change the rather boring thing into a cooler thing by tweaking the situation and that makes me happy,
I love them. Inspirational quotes.
They make me stronger.
They make me smile.
They make me understand more about life.
Inspirational quotes are pieces 4 love that makes my life more beautiful because they make me smile and they make my life easier because they give me advices and learnings I can use.
A good example is this quote above.
How many times did some body said to me follow your heart…many times.
And how many times did I get hurt…many…
So… If.. for every time some one told me to follow my heart…they’ve followed up by advising me to take my brain with me… then the number of times that I hurted myself maybe have been smaller.
But on the other hand… If I never try I never see if I could go where my heart told me to go…because my brain is filled up with learnings from the past. So my brain sometimes becomes a hurdle to following my heart…
So then..what to do….?
I’ll follow my heart and try take my brain with me without listening too much…or… what do you think?
I actually never thought about it, but life feels fogy sometimes.
Like, I can’t see where I am going or what I should actually bring with me.
Not physically but mentally.
I feel like walking in the clouds, not being sure if I fall every time I prepare a new step.
Which makes it quite paranoia like, to dare take a step everyday.
Then I thought back on knowledge I got many years ago…
We people have two choices in life:
One choice is to react instinctively, another is to respond appropriately.
And it occurred to me, that I’ve been reacting instinctively on many things in my life.
An example is turning into panic and sad feelings when people reject me. Even if I know it tells more about them than about me.
But then yesterday, I realised that reacting instinctively gives me more problems inside me.
So today I thought about how could I react properly. For my own sake. And I realised I had to cancel them from my social media, so I do not get back in the sad mood when I see posts from them.
I realised I had to cancel them from my life, and not following them on social media anymore, … maybe I am harsh. But my instinct reaction was to be panic and figure out how to make then unreject me. But that made me focus on negative energy.
So instead I focus on the positive things, and i try to respond properly to that. In order to build on what actually makes me smile.
And something I have had a really big difficulty of admitting, was all the direct messages I get from people I am connected to on social media. The thing is, I am really bad at writing back. And I have to arguments for that:
I have a problem with my arms and fingers, which paralyses me if I use them too much.
I get flattered and embarrassed at the same time, getting these messages.
So, I’ve been thinking about how I could respond properly and address this interest, in order to show the interest back.
And now I have made this video, a little introduction video… totally without manuscript and I made in one shot. NO time for regrets. It is totally authentic and real.
And you know what, after I made this video, it seemed as if the fogginess lighted a bit.
Thanks to all of you who inspires me everyday via Social Media and in Real Life.
Let me know what I can do better and keep asking me questions, I am preparing new videos about life to you.
Even if I am not able to stay in my own apartment, even if I start over with clothing’s, things and devices..I try to stay calm.
Since Saturday I have tried to transfer a movie from my phone to my new mac. And it still does not work. And you know what. ..that annoys me more than loosing my stuff.
Strange .. and I try to keep calm…even if it really makes my body explode inside…
So…how can I keep calm about loosing my stuff…and not when my devices are not working. .. maybe it is because it is something that I want to do.
I want to start making small films. I have a video with this talented guy… and I want it out now.. but it doesn’t work…yet… so… The calmness that I have when thinking about all my lost stuff…I try to copy that into the situation of the not working devices….to stay calm but still in progress. .. because I try several solutions…. staying calm…or do I …?
How do you manage to stay calm when things really get on your nerves?
I would be pleased if you share it with me.
Piece 4 Love
Anna
Sometimes look cheats.
Or .. a lot of times look cheats.
I know. And as I said before I could choose to be a victim….this time….of the cheating look…
The look that makes you look strong, satisfied, self confident and happy.
That look I have. But nobody ever told me that.
And for many years I was treated as the strong person who would be able to take everything and I played the game everyday…and every night I cried my self to sleep. Because even if I look good, confident and strong. I have also my weak sides. But …
When I tried to ask for help I was met with sentences as:
You look so good you shouldn’t
complain.
You are so strong why be sad?
You should be able to handle it?
Or even worse… If I said something in a serious tone. .. I would often be accused of being angry or arrogant. Just because of my look.
And so…for many years I didn’t ask for help, I didn’t said the truth about who I actually was and how I felt. I was afraid of having to discuss what I felt inside.
When I was 33 years old I saw a video of my self making a speech. And when I saw that I realize how much power I have just by my look… but nobody ever told me. Nobody!
In relationship my boyfriends became jealous on how I look at people and how I talk to people. My look makes me seem interested in every little human being. So in the end. I didn’t dare look up because I was afraid of being accused of flirting.
Finally …finally I’ve realize that I have to get away from people who treats me because of who I look instead of who I am and what I say.
And it is working.
But always remember that the girl who looks strong and good…maybe also is just as sad as you are.
Look cheats… remember that.
Wouldn’t it just be nice to find that special light?
That light that makes me wake up in the morning ready for a new day.
Ready as in smiling, doing things that I love and being with people I love.
That light that makes me see a reason for life being.
That light that makes me satisfied.
That feeling of being me and being satisfied.
When I am really strong it is no problem. When I am really weak it is a lot more difficult. ..
But somehow I manage.
I do cry.
But even after a divorce, a fire in my house and other situations that have made me really sad this year.
I still see that light.
And I think it shines from inside me. And then I follow where the rayon light shines right back at me… and gives me that feeling of satisfaction and calmness of myself and life.
And it is the small things. Comments on Instagram, Facebook, my blog, my friend who laughs when watching a movie, my sister who calls me for a chit chat. These small things and many other make my light shine even more. Specially in bad periods. But the light inside me always shines. And so does yours…
Recognize it. Embrace it. Live it.
Voila
