This article focus on bullying.
Its meanings, its consequences and how to deal with it
– if you are being bullied.
THE MEANING
The verb – bully means – to seek to harm or to intimidate.
You can bully or you can be bullied.
That is not at all a nice thing to harm somebody
or being harmed from somebody.
Because – harm means physical injury,
especially that which is deliberately inflicted…
Even if it’s a word or an action without touching,
being bullied hurts.
This means that a bully in someway or another
deliberately hurts the person that is bullied.
Who decides if a word or and action hurts?
The person whome that word or action is used against.
Because when something is hurting it is also pain,
and pain is subjective.
It is therefore up to the person who is hurt
to decide the level of the pain.
– This concludes that nobody else than
the person who is bullied
– decides if certain words or actions
are hurting or not
THE CONSEQUENCES
What happens to the bullied depends on
how strong he or she is before the bullying has started.
In the moment of the bullying action
the bullied person can feel some sort of pain.
It can be pain in the stomach like a sick rollercoaster,
it can be sudden headache,
it can be a feeling of loosing all energy in the body
manifested as a rollercoaster in the legs.
The pain felled in the moment of the bullying action,
can rest in the body for a long time,
for hours and even for days.
This can cause problems as:
- difficulties in concentration
- insomnia
- difficulties in relationships
- anxiety
- depression
- self destruction
- abuse
Separately and together these problems can cause
other big challenges as
- keeping up with school
- fulfilling a career
- keeping a relationship to a spouse
So to sum up, bullying is a really bad thing,
and to be bullied generates a lot of other consequences
which we only see by time in the life of the bullied.
A person who bullies can definitely
be bullied him or herself
So if you are bullied – in order for you to be able to live a life
where you see progress the most of the time:
- stop listening to peoples destructive criticism
- get out of relationships in which you are being bullied
- start healing yourself
Since this article focus on how to deal with bullying,
an article on how to stop to listen to destructive criticism
and an article how to get out of relationships
in which you are being bullied… are under creation.
DEALING WITH BULLYING
When you suffer from being bullied doesn’t mean that
you’re a victim or weak.
The suffering is your body showing you
by a physical reaction what your brain
yet has difficulties dealing with.
It can be tough to realise that you are getting bullied,
especially when you realise who is bullying you.
So in order to deal with the bullying you can do as following:
Recognise the situations in which you feel you get bullied.
Stay out of these situations or prepare yourself
on how you want
these situations to turn out in your favour.
If it’s at work you are getting bullied then start being strategic
when you ask for help or if you turn in a project.
If you know a certain person will say a stupid comment,
prepare yourself on how you would like to see yourself be cool.
If it’s in a close relationship group you’re getting bullied
then have less contact as possible.
Even though that also hurts.
But maybe the less contact can give you time for
healing and thereby being able to cope with your own life.
The thing with people who bullies is that it’s so difficult to
for them to see how their actions are bullying you.
They can’t see that when they change your schedule
and programmes without asking it is hurting you.
They cannot see when they use destructive criticism
I mean first time is maybe ok, shit happens.
But if you start to see a pattern of words and actions
that hurt you, and if they don’t want to change that pattern.
Then it is not good company.
Some bullies even try to tell you that it is all your own fault
or that you misunderstood everything
– if you try to confront them with how they act.
A friend would show you they are sorry for hurting you,
without questioning and that he or she will do her best
to avoid to put you in a situation like that.
– A bully would say that you’ve put yourself into this situation.
And even if you did allow people to step on you or overrule you
– it doesn’t allow them to take advantage of you.
Like in hurting you or making you feel like a less worthy person
by their words or actions or both.
In the moment of the bullying – Try not to react even if it’s difficult.
Instead keep focusing on your breath and your mind.
Make sure you don’t take in what they are saying.
Tell them that you disagree so much about this situation
that there is no need to talk further.
And keep repeating that if they don’t stop.
It is ok to leave a room or a place if people don’t stop
if you’ve asked them to do so.
Just keep focusing on your breath and your mind.
Being bullied is never fun and it can have some serious
consequences if you don’t deal with it in time.
Trust me I know, this is why I started writing about life
on my blog. I realised the tough consequences of not
being able to see the patterns going on in my life.
The limits to my personal growth.
I thought there was something wrong with me,
and I’ve spend hours and money to know myself better,
change myself and then I realised I didn’t do anything wrong.
I just didn’t know better, now I know, not all
but I share what I know.
Thank you so much for reading my text,
I hope you can use it many years ahead
and protect yourself from bullies.
Do you have any questions on bullying – let me know, either in
the comment felt or write me an email: anna@calledda.com
If you want to empower yourself you can
learn how to deal with sudden changes
by accessing my mini course right here.
