For the last five years I did not do anything particular on new years eve. There’s a reason why, but I tell you that another day.
This new years eve was something totally different. First of all because I am using crutches for the moment.
And secondly I eat new years dinner at a restaurant. (first time doing that new years eve) I was with my friends Carmen & Giacomo. Giacomo is also known as DJ Busonera, and the dinner was with his DJ friends C-sky & Siko and a really special guest Ellen Allien, DJ from Germany who was to play at the new year party ATLANTIDE later.
At the restaurant we had a blast. One thing was that we were missing one person, the one hosting the dinner, and while waiting – we ate a lot of bread. So much, that we started joking about wanting more bread. You know… when you get fixed on something that is funny for the moment, you keep it for the night.
Some times ago I had difficulties in showing I was vulnerable.
I wanted to be strong and ready for action. Or did I wanted to be like that or was it just a habit.
A habit of what I’ve learned a habit of what I was use to hear. The words that created my reality. Who I was, how other saw me and how I saw the world.
Even when people by their words hurted me I had difficulties in telling the truth about what they were doing to me with their words. I wanted to be strong.
But inside me it hurted … it hurted so much that I even now feel the pain… not by the words they used against me but the feeling of not defending myself. That hurts.
And now growing older and even if it still hurts I know that I did well, not defending myself. Not spending my energy to convince other people of the consequence of their doings. Some people will never understand.
And the best way I come further is to have eye on the positive people and the positive constructive feedback I get.
Because by being with people with whom I am aloud to be vulnerable it is also easier for me being strong in the way that makes me progress and develop my life…to my satisfaction.
Balancing between being vulnerable and strong.
Today I passed by a girl called Doriana on Istagram. And I totally liked her profile text.
“Choose to live – not to survive”
And funny enough she comes from Italy (if you didn’t know I am half Italian)
I asked Doriana if I could feature her profile text here, so voila, Doriana’s awesome message is now even more available.
And this make Doriana a Piece 4 Love of the day. One of these pieces that just make life more beautiful and easier to live, because she’s right in telling me the fact, that if I choose to live I live. If I choose to survive I survive, and that is different from living. Well of course I do live if you survive, though, the fact is
To survive makes me think of troubles and difficulties whereas on the other hand to live makes me think of breathing and being happy.
And oh no I am not happy all the time, almost. But I do breath…
I relate my being happy almost all the time with the two choices in life I wrote about some posts ago.
It is easier for me to choose to be happy, because then I act from a higher vibration and I do my work better.
So how do I choose it.
I plan things I like to do and that makes me smile. That makes it easier for me to do things I do not like.
Tomorrow I have to do some administrative stuff that I have to do myself and that I really do not enjoy that much. In order to fell better about it, I go to an open place where I feel good.
So I change the rather boring thing into a cooler thing by tweaking the situation and that makes me happy,
I love them. Inspirational quotes.
They make me stronger.
They make me smile.
They make me understand more about life.
Inspirational quotes are pieces 4 love that makes my life more beautiful because they make me smile and they make my life easier because they give me advices and learnings I can use.
A good example is this quote above.
How many times did some body said to me follow your heart…many times.
And how many times did I get hurt…many…
So… If.. for every time some one told me to follow my heart…they’ve followed up by advising me to take my brain with me… then the number of times that I hurted myself maybe have been smaller.
But on the other hand… If I never try I never see if I could go where my heart told me to go…because my brain is filled up with learnings from the past. So my brain sometimes becomes a hurdle to following my heart…
So then..what to do….?
I’ll follow my heart and try take my brain with me without listening too much…or… what do you think?
I actually never thought about it, but life feels fogy sometimes.
Like, I can’t see where I am going or what I should actually bring with me.
Not physically but mentally.
I feel like walking in the clouds, not being sure if I fall every time I prepare a new step.
Which makes it quite paranoia like, to dare take a step everyday.
Then I thought back on knowledge I got many years ago…
We people have two choices in life:
One choice is to react instinctively, another is to respond appropriately.
And it occurred to me, that I’ve been reacting instinctively on many things in my life.
An example is turning into panic and sad feelings when people reject me. Even if I know it tells more about them than about me.
But then yesterday, I realised that reacting instinctively gives me more problems inside me.
So today I thought about how could I react properly. For my own sake. And I realised I had to cancel them from my social media, so I do not get back in the sad mood when I see posts from them.
I realised I had to cancel them from my life, and not following them on social media anymore, … maybe I am harsh. But my instinct reaction was to be panic and figure out how to make then unreject me. But that made me focus on negative energy.
So instead I focus on the positive things, and i try to respond properly to that. In order to build on what actually makes me smile.
And something I have had a really big difficulty of admitting, was all the direct messages I get from people I am connected to on social media. The thing is, I am really bad at writing back. And I have to arguments for that:
I have a problem with my arms and fingers, which paralyses me if I use them too much.
I get flattered and embarrassed at the same time, getting these messages.
So, I’ve been thinking about how I could respond properly and address this interest, in order to show the interest back.
And now I have made this video, a little introduction video… totally without manuscript and I made in one shot. NO time for regrets. It is totally authentic and real.
And you know what, after I made this video, it seemed as if the fogginess lighted a bit.
Thanks to all of you who inspires me everyday via Social Media and in Real Life.
Let me know what I can do better and keep asking me questions, I am preparing new videos about life to you.