One of the consequences of not knowing myself, is the
difficulties I have and have had with knowing my limits
and setting my boundaries.
My personal limits.
Maybe I was raised
with not being aloud to have my own limits
which concludes the consequences: difficulties
in setting limits later on in my life.
I don’t know the exact Why of
having difficulties in setting my limits.
I think a lot about it,
because the consequence of not setting my
limits in time is that I feel bad
or I make other people feel bad…
because I explode in the end.
Once again I was maybe too nice
But Hey… I am actually trying to set my limits…
…the thing is … my limits are difficult for other people
because it means they have to change behaviour .
But Hey… me too I need to change behaviour when other
people set their limits. And if I want to stay with them
I have to respect their limits.
So here comes my point,
where is the difference in me telling
my limit and another person telling their limit?
Some people say I am too nice when I set my limit,
but I can’t see how I can be too nice.
I mean a limit is a limit.
And isn’t better to get the limit before I explode ? =)
So if you ever see a person explode, maybe it is because
some other person cross their limit big time.
And instead of thinking that the person who explodes
is the problem,
it could might be the other person not respecting
a limit, who is the real problem.
I’ve been judged myself as being a
hysterical, yelling and crazy lady.
Just because other people didn’t respect my limit and kept
overstepping my boundaries.
And actually it can be tough being seen as the problem
when the problem is actually another.
Is overstepping another persons boundaries
the same as
I believe it could be.
Because as I write in my post about bullying –
bullying means to seek to harm or to intimidate
And when not respecting another persons limits
it could turn out being harmfull or intimidating.
So again, if you ever see a person – an adult or a child
then it could be a reaction to a kind of bullying
that is not at all healthy.
When living and working with people who continuously
crossed my limits well knowing that it was a limit for me
I started getting in alarm mode – it actually means
that instead of being able to use my skills in the best way –
I used half of my skills being in alarm mode
and half my skills living my life or doing my job.
Which actually means that when I look back on my past
I did spent a lot of time shutting down other peoples fire
And now I see
Why I always was fighting …
I couldn’t concentrate,
I couldn’t focus,
And I couldn’t stay on the track of my dreams
because I spent my energy on things that were not
working for me at all.
When I realised that I had to change –
I had to do my life differently, and
I am still working on it every day.
To set my boundaries and only stay in relationships
where I feel worshipped.
Of course people can without knowing it cross a limit,
but when they know the limit and have access to
respect this limit.
Then not respecting the limit is a bully’s act.
It’s a delicate balance being able to set the boundaries
and at the same time make space for other people’s
Good Luck <3
PS. Do you need change in your life?