The Limitless Life – not knowing myself

One of the consequences of not knowing myself, is the

difficulties I have and have had with knowing my limits

and setting my boundaries.

My personal limits.

Maybe I was raised

with not being aloud to have my own limits

which concludes the consequences: difficulties

in setting limits later on in my life.

I don’t know the exact Why of

having difficulties in setting my limits.

I think a lot about it,

because the consequence of not setting my

limits in time is that I feel bad

or I make other people feel bad…

because I explode in the end.

Once again I was maybe too nice

Too understanding

Too pleasing

Too compassionated

But Hey… I am actually trying to set my limits…

…the thing is … my limits are difficult for other people

because it means they have to change behaviour .

But Hey… me too I need to change behaviour when other

people set their limits. And if I want to stay with them

I have to respect their limits.

So here comes my point,

where is the difference in me telling

my limit and another person telling their limit?

Some people say I am too nice when I set my limit,

but I can’t see how I can be too nice.

I mean a limit is a limit.

And isn’t better to get the limit before I explode ? =)

So if you ever see a person explode, maybe it is because

some other person cross their limit big time.

And instead of thinking that the person who explodes

is the problem,

it could might be the other person not respecting

a limit, who is the real problem.

I’ve been judged myself as being a

hysterical, yelling and crazy lady.

Just because other people didn’t respect my limit and kept

overstepping my boundaries.

And actually it can be tough being seen as the problem

when the problem is actually another.

Is overstepping another persons boundaries

the same as

bullying?

I believe it could be.

Because as I write in my post about bullying –

bullying means to seek to harm or to intimidate

another person.

And when not respecting another persons limits

it could turn out being harmfull or intimidating.

So again, if you ever see a person – an adult or a child

freak out,

then it could be a reaction to a kind of bullying

that is not at all healthy.

When living and working with people who continuously

crossed my limits well knowing that it was a limit for me

I started getting in alarm mode – it actually means

that instead of being able to use my skills in the best way –

I used half of my skills being in alarm mode

and half my skills living my life or doing my job.

Which actually means that when I look back on my past

I did spent a lot of time shutting down other peoples fire

against me.

And now I see

Why I always was fighting …

I couldn’t concentrate,

I couldn’t focus,

And I couldn’t stay on the track of my dreams

because I spent my energy on things that were not

working for me at all.

When I realised that I had to change –

I had to do my life differently, and

I am still working on it every day.

To set my boundaries and only stay in relationships

where I feel worshipped.

Of course people can without knowing it cross a limit,

but when they know the limit and have access to

respect this limit.

Then not respecting the limit is a bully’s act.

It’s a delicate balance being able to set the boundaries

and at the same time make space for other people’s

boundaries.

Good Luck <3

PS. Do you need change in your life?

Check out my freebee about on how to get empowered
under sudden change.