What is wrong with me ?

I continuously asked my self: What is wrong with me?

Until I realised there is nothing wrong with me.

There was something wrong with my way of living.

Well it wasn’t wrong, I was doing things that didn’t work.

For me.

I could see it worked for other people, but I felt wrong

trying to live the same kind of life.

It didn’t work for me having a fulltime job. I’ve tried.

Several times.

That doesn’t mean I don’t like to work.

But I am more project related and

I can work for 100 hours in one week.

That means that I then need to relax in the other end

in order to get my house and my sleep back on track.

But then I missed a big point.

What if letting myself into dysfunctional

relationships – what if that was actually the reason

for not being able to work fulltime.

I have read several articles that it could be the fact.

And when I look at the pattern.

It takes me around 2-3 days to get over an attack of

overwhelm after being bullied.

In these days after I can be really tired,

I can have difficulties in concentrating –

and then the worst thing

…. all the small explosions inside my body,

but they call out for another blogpost.

After studying myself for years I realised

that I would never

get the answer of why

I have difficulties in working fulltime.

Maybe it’s because

I am an double air sign,

maybe it’s because of my

experiences when growing up,

maybe it’s because I am full of energy,

maybe its because of the bullying…

maybe maybe maybe….

But one thing is sure,

there is and was nothing wrong with me.

After becoming a mom.

I realised that I’ve spent to much time

listening to other peoples opinion about me,

instead of following my intuition and knowing myself.

And I had to start over once again in life.

But instead of thinking of what is wrong with me

– I try to figure out

how can I make this work. For me.

Something that works for me is
to shot the world out and empty my brain.

Just not having to deal with inputs from the outside –

and no thoughts about future, problems or relations.

And then I enjoy the nature, specially the sea.

Here I don’t feel wrong or right.

Everything is just a nice flow of energy –

and I don’t have to judge whether I like it or not.

I am.

Me.

And I am not wrong. I am totally right.

And so are you.

Remember that.

Hugs and love

Anna Ulrike

PS. If you want to change something in your life
or if you have difficulties in accepting change.

Then have a look here –>