Sometimes look cheats.
Or .. a lot of times look cheats.
I know. And as I said before I could choose to be a victim….this time….of the cheating look…
The look that makes you look strong, satisfied, self confident and happy.
That look I have. But nobody ever told me that.
And for many years I was treated as the strong person who would be able to take everything and I played the game everyday…and every night I cried my self to sleep. Because even if I look good, confident and strong. I have also my weak sides. But …
When I tried to ask for help I was met with sentences as:
You look so good you shouldn’t
complain.
You are so strong why be sad?
You should be able to handle it?
Or even worse… If I said something in a serious tone. .. I would often be accused of being angry or arrogant. Just because of my look.
And so…for many years I didn’t ask for help, I didn’t said the truth about who I actually was and how I felt. I was afraid of having to discuss what I felt inside.
When I was 33 years old I saw a video of my self making a speech. And when I saw that I realize how much power I have just by my look… but nobody ever told me. Nobody!
In relationship my boyfriends became jealous on how I look at people and how I talk to people. My look makes me seem interested in every little human being. So in the end. I didn’t dare look up because I was afraid of being accused of flirting.
Finally …finally I’ve realize that I have to get away from people who treats me because of who I look instead of who I am and what I say.
And it is working.
But always remember that the girl who looks strong and good…maybe also is just as sad as you are.
Look cheats… remember that.
Piece 4 Love
Anna
