From Silence to Self-Healing: My Journey Through Invisible Violence
Two days ago the month of Domestic Violence Awareness ended.
Abuse is also violence, even if you are not getting hit.
And I have lived with both kinds of violence. Emotional and physical. And why not also let me have experienced SA from a family member.
It pretty much ruined my possibilities to create a traditional, predictable life pattern.
But since I didn’t know it, and I didn’t get any emotional support or guidance from what was supposed to be my inner circle, my life path ended up being a reaction to the abuse, Until the day I learned about load reactions caused by adverse communication and experiences.
The Fatal Effects of Invisible Violence
What many people don’t realize is that emotional and psychological violence can be just as deadly as physical harm, only it kills slowly, through the brain and nervous system.
When we are exposed to constant stress, fear, or humiliation, our body enters a state of chronic survival.
The brain rewires itself to stay alert, not to stay alive. And the same system that was meant to protect us starts turning against us.
- The amygdala (the brain’s alarm center) becomes overactive, every sound, tone, or look feels dangerous.
- The hippocampus, which is supposed to record time and memory, gets damaged, making it hard to separate then from now.
- The prefrontal cortex, responsible for planning, empathy, and focus, goes offline, so even daily life starts to feel impossible.
These neurological changes can lead to anxiety, chronic fatigue, autoimmune conditions, memory loss, or emotional numbing. In short, our biology adapts to pain.
That’s why people living in long-term emotional abuse often don’t even realize how deeply it has affected their brain, body, and capacity to function. Until something finally breaks.
I got cured before the doctors managed to give me a diagnosis.
In 2021 I discovered the mental state CPTSD. I could relate to the symptoms, since maybe 9-10 years old, on and off, and so in fall 2021 that’s when my healing journey started.
Here’s how it went, in simple bullet points:
- In 2018 I was reading Jesper Juul’s book Your Competent Child, and discovered the term load reactions.
- In 2021 I learned about The Crappy Childhood Fairy and Tim Fletcher on YouTube talked about ACE’s and CPTSD, and I began to recognize myself.
- I read about how feelings create your body and began using oils and gemstones to release, get support, stay grounded and open up.
- In 2022 I stumbled upon the Workout Witch on TikTok. She talked about how CPTSD and chronic pain are really good friends, and she showed where the body gets stuck.
- I kept working with my mind every day through guided affirmations and frequencies.
- I went to a life and body specialist and showed him the video. He fixed my chronic pains. In one session. Pains I had lived with for 15 years without any doctor being able to help me.
- But my brain couldn’t keep up. And in 2024 again, on TikTok, I saw a video about the brain and realized my brain paths were damaged.
- In 2024 I started taking curcumin drops, and from the first sip I could feel a change in my brain – first in the right side behind the ear, and later in the upper left side.
- And I also started group trauma therapy at the Danish Centre for Integreret Stress og Traumeterapi
I still walked into bad relationships and needed to move. So I left the capital I had lived in for 47 years and moved to the countryside with my 6 yo son.
Now, after making sure my son could grow up in peace, I have, since August 2025, finished my academic work about the missing link in rhetoric: adverse communication and all its mental consequences. From emotional shocks to functional freeze, and much more academic insight.
I have also opened Calledda Studio, where you can get all the work material I used myself during this journey. The same material I have also used to help CEOs, sportspeople, artists, and people who thought they had no future.
And together with my best friend Bitten, I opened a Danish webshop called Oils and Crystals, because healing the mind also means healing the frequency of your body.
The most important learning though, is that in order to heal from these reactions you need an inner circle who supports you, lifts you, and they are witnesses to your journey. This is where the real healing takes place.
And soon I will write about how I did that, because it was not that easy, and I am not at alle finished yet. But I am getting there.
One of the thins that brought me long the way, was tracking my frequency and I still do that, everyday. Here is the link to my free guide and template on how to do it.
